Djinn rummy by Tom Holt
Author:Tom Holt
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science Fiction & Fantasy, Fantasy fiction, 20th century, General, Fantasy, English fiction, Fiction
ISBN: 9781857233636
Publisher: ORBIT
Published: 1996-07-15T04:00:00+00:00
Everythings set up. You wished, remember?
Wealth without limit was what I wished for, Asaf replied. There wasnt anything in the original specifications about running amok killing and stealing half-way across the blasted continent.
For pitys sake, mate, this is my job on the line here. Ive made arrangements ...'
Asaf leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. All right, he sighed. On three conditions.
Anything.
One, you dont sing.
No worries, mate, not another note.
Two, said Asaf, we keep these stupid adventures to the basic minimum. No magic spells, no more beautiful maidens than absolutely necessary, and positively no gratuitous folldore. Agreed?
You got it.
Three. He leaned forward and turned the key in the ignition. Keep your bloody shoes on.
Two genies, rather the worse for six pints apiece of semi-skimmed with double-cream chasers, lurched out of Saheeds and hailed a taxi.
Where to?
Isson this bitta paper, mumbled Nick. Fastasyoulike.
Youre the boss, replied the taxi. It hovered for a moment, straightening out its corners, and lowered itself to ground level. The genies climbed aboard.
Home, James, Con declaimed, an dont spare the Axminster.
The carpet rose like a very flat Harrier, made itself stiff in every fibre of its being, and shimmered away into the night sky.
The cold air, rushing past their ears, served to cut the milk fug, and by the time they arrived at the destination scribbled on the milk-mat both genies were not sober, exactly, but at least 90 per cent in charge of their principal motor functions. The ideal state, in other words, for attempting something very silly indeed.
Right, said Nick. You ready?
As Ill ever be, Con replied. Here, Im not so sure this is a very brilliant idea...
Shuttup. Nick rubbed his eyes and said the shape-changing spell aloud. It worked. Your turn, he said.
I still think
Get on with it.
All right. Con mumbled the magic words; and he too changed shape. The carpet braked smoothly and began its descent.
Here, Con, Nick whispered. Remind me. Which one am I supposed to be?
Con shrugged. Ive forgotten, he admitted. Lets have a look at you.
Well?
Con rubbed his chin. I think, he said after a while, youre the tall one. Wossisname.
I see. So youre...?
The other one.
Fine. Im glad weve got that sorted out.
The carpet came to rest. The two genies climbed off and paid the fare, and then looked round. Nobody about. Probably just as well. What they were doing was, of course, unethical and probably highly illegal by genie standards. On the other hand, virtually everything genies do is.
Here goes.
Break a leg. Con extended a slightly unsteady arm and rang Janes doorbell.
What do you mean, Nick asked, break a leg?
Its something mortals say, Con replied as the porch light came on. Something to do with good luck.
Its not good luck breaking a leg, Nick said doubtfully. Not if youre a mortal, that is. Takes weeks to mend, a mortal leg does.
Its just an expression.
Bloody silly one, if you ask me.
The door opened and Jane stood in the doorway. She was wearing a pink winceyette dressing-gown and fluffy slippers.
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